JACKSONVILLE, Florida (AP) - There will be two SL franchises in 
the Sunshine State for the 2008 season as GM Haas, owner and team 
chemist, has decided to relocte his franchise to Jacksonville 
FL.  "The city of Jacksonville has welcomed the SL with open arms 
and we are glad to be here" Haas said at the teams franchise 
announcement.  Haas also mentioned that he was excited to see his 
first Georgia vs Florida football game that will take place in 
Jacksonville on November 1st of 2008. 

"I heard for years about this game being billed as the worlds 
largest outdoor cocktail party, but I never attended the game.  
If all goes well this season we may be able to celebrate a 
playoff berth by getting sh1thoused and watching some excellent 
college football."  Haas also mentioned that since Chokoloskee 
Island and Jacksonville were over 400 miles apart he did not 
think either team would have a problem drawing fans.  Haas was 
also excited by the fact that St Augustine, the home of the 
fountain of youth, was only 20 miles from Jacksonville and 
wondered about the possibilities of bringing back some old timers 
like Vince "Firecracker" Coleman or Lou Brock as a potential 
pinch runner.  When it was pointed out that this was a computer 
simulated game his reply was, "Lick a bag!".  During the 
announcement Haas reiterated his fondness of the musical group 
Widespread Panic, some of whom attended the Uviv. Of Georgia and 
will probably be in attendance for the GA/FLA game, and 
confidently proclaimed that the Jacksonville Twitchin' Dogs will 
be a copetitive SL franchise.  "I have always enjoyed the song 
Jack, but could not bring myself to relocate to Jack, AL", Haas 
said at the press conference.  "There are just too many rednecks 
and , well, persons of questionable character down there in L.A." 
he said, clarifying that L.A. was a term used in Georgia to 
derogatorily refer to Lower Alabama. 

Haas also mentioned that he was looking forward to having A Rod, 
Wright, Pujols, Holliday, C Pena or Sabathia as his first player 
drafted, but as those were the first 6 players taken as the draft 
started Haas replied, "What do those six scrubs know anyway, they 
only have like all the Spit Cups but three amongst them.  They 
took 2 first basemen, 2 third basemen, an outfielder and a 
starting pitcher, don't they know that the only way to win in 
this league is to draft relief pitchers in the first three 
rounds.  That way when two of them suck and miserably 
underperform you still have another one to trot out there".

Good luck to all in SL2008!