Note:

 

Due to hard feelings and bitterness over my quick departure from the SL 2002 playoffs, I cannot bring myself to write a season review.However, I did tear out some assorted pages from the diary I kept during the year.

 

-Bob T., Sosa Impersonation

 

 

 

Diary of a Scrub

 

18 January, 2002.

 

 

††††††††††† Well, I left the annual SL Winter Meeting quite depressed.First of all, I donít know if the league will be as enjoyable as previous years, because Steve Swinea will no longer be part of it.I really miss that guy, even though he is freaky and tries to rip everyone off in his trades.It wonít be the same without him.At least Joe Hauser decided to stay in the league.

††††††††††† Another reason that I am down and out is because Keith Klein and Greg Nims spilled the beans and told me that there is no chance in hell that I can win my division this year.Those guys are true experts, so I better start figuring out how to capture a wildcard berth, pronto.

††††††††††† The only good news is that Matt Klein joined the league.He seems like the only normal Klein.

††††††††††† I announced the name of my team tonight:Soso (OK)Impersonation.Ronny, Pat, Jack, Hank, Jim, Vin, Coach K. et.al get it.

††††††††††† After the meetings ended, I spent a long time catching up with Ken.We are planning a trip to Florida in March.I hope that guy starts getting out a bit.He sits around too much.

 

P.S.Ken, Chris, and Jen are coming to DeKalb next weekend; former SLíer John Bryant will be meeting us at Starbusters.

 

 

4 February, 2002

 

 

††††††††††† Though Iím overwhelmed with school, Iím enjoying the SL draft immensely.Iím doing something new this year Ė Iím picking players that think will be fun to play with, win or lose.I veered off my regular course and chose an offensive player, Jason Giambi, in the first round.††† I was happy to get Alomar in the 2nd round, because I know everyone wanted him.I might have picked my centerfielder, Edmonds, a bit early, but I really like him.†† I grabbed Ichiro because he steals a ton and has a great arm.Who knows, maybe he will even get a few hits.††

††††††††††† Iím worried about pitching.I grabbed Sele in the 3rd round, but Iíll be lucky to get 12-13 wins from him.

††††††††††† Iím starting to like the identity of this team.

 

9 February, 2002

 

 

††††††††††† Perhaps I overreacted when I flamed Chris and Keith for suggesting that we should try to draft in a timely fashion during tomorrowís Draft-o-Rama.

 

10 February, 2002

 

 

What was I thinking???Pedro Martinez as a 6th starter in the 13th round!!!!!†† I was rolling along in the Draft-o-Rama until that idiotic pick.I will forever be a scrubb.I can just picture the glint in Keith Kleinís eyes as he sharpens his pen to write about my gaffe in his famed ďdraft notesĒ that we always get shortly after the season ends.Pedro Martinez!!!!†† Shoot me!! †††††††††††

 

Oh dear, Greg Nims, a DeKalb veteran, now says that he is coming into town in a few weeks for a Mr. Blotto show.††† I passed an invite along to all.††DeKalb is the happening place.

 

 

 

27 February, 2002

 

I broke the news to Ken that I wonít be able to go to Florida for spring break.He was disappointed, but still plans on taking the week off.He mentioned something about a trip to Colorado.

††††††††††† All systems go with SL 2002.I managed to grab some versatile players.The only pick I really struggled with was taking Sierra over Sexton.Sierra has less games, but hopefully more upside.

 

 

March 19th, 2002

 

 

††††††††††† The season is off to a nice start.Somehow, Keith and Greg pulled a Swinea and botched the stats for their stats for the first series of the year.Boy, if that had been me or Steve, we would be hearing about it for a decadeÖ

 

April 9th, 2002

 

††††††††††† Will wonders ever cease?Soso is 12-3.Against Keith, Ken, and Chris no less.†† Ken seems more concerned with the girl he met in Colorado than his team.I think he is smitten.

 

May 20th, 2002

†††††††††††

††††††††††† Now that school is out, I need to sit down and write a 40 game review.Should I predict playoffs with a 24-16 record?†† No, lets face it.Bonds will explode, and Dave will run off a string of 15 wins in a row.†† Dave Basler.Itís hard for me to root against the guy for the following reasons:

        His last name is not Nims.

        His last name is not Klein.

        He doesnít call me stupid.

        He makes good suggestions for my lineup even though we are in the same division.

 

††††††††††† Donít think I am going to make any free agent moves.Iím kind of looking forward to running the Free Agent Draft though.

 

June 15th, 2002

 

††††††††††† Not much going on with the SL these days.Iíve sent Joe Hauser a bunch of emails, but he hasnít responded.††† Ken keeps going to Colorado like every other weekend.I think he likes this girl better than Hunt for Red October.

 

††††††††††† July 18th, 2002

 

††††††††††† Ken left DeKalb a few minutes ago in a U-Haul truck heading west.Heís moving to Colorado, and I donít think it is so that he can be closer to longtime friend and fellow SLíer Graham Haas.Heís heading out there with Christi, the girl he met in Colorado after I cancelled the Florida trip.A warning to Graham:Ken no longer resembles the bachelor we once knew.HmmÖ..Graham no longer resembles the bachelor we (or they) once knew.†† HmmÖColorado??Perhaps all the single women are out in Colorado???†† Note to selfÖoh yeah, this already a note to myself.††

††††††††††† Anyways, Ken and Christi, after a fine meal at Lukolos, are heading to Iowa for the night and are staying with Greg and Pam.I think that Greg is salivating for some APBA, but little does he know that Ken is smitten.Heíll figure it out after about ten minutes.†† Sorry Greg, no games tonight.

 

I went to a psychic party last night.The psychic reminded me of a receptionist named Norma.Her warning to me was very cryptic:ďBEWARE OF THE WATCHDOG.Ē

 

 

 

August 5th, 2002

 

††††††††††† SL 2002 is as depressed as the economy.Iím not doing much to contribute to either these days, although I am thinking of hiring a private investigator to find owners Hauser, Haas, and the members of the Klein expedition last seen heading west.

††††††††††† About the only cool thing happening is that Keith Klein and family bought a house.I skipped out of classes early so I could help him move.It was really hot that day, nearly a hundred, and my carís air-conditioner is on the fritz, so the trip to Island Lake was pretty unbearable, but I would do just about anything for Keith.

††††††††††† Iím really hoping he has a house-warming party.†† Itís always nice to see the house when youíre not moving furniture into it.

 

August 7th, 2002

 

††††††††††† Remember to never intentionally walk Denny Hocking to load the bases so you can pitch to Henry Blanco

 

August 18th, 2002

 

††††††††††† After hundreds of rumors, Joe Hauser confirmed that he is leaving the SL.I got to know Joe very well sitting next to him on a golf cart at Twin-O.He finally relented and let me tell story after story.Joe, you will be missed.††

††††††††††† Rumor has it that Swinea is taking over for Joe.He is already talking trash about how he can kick my ass.†† I have a simple response which is turning into a cliche. Ė ďHey Steve, at least I donít wear pants with holes in the crotch!Ē

††††††††††† Let the games resume!

 

P.S.Iím now living in Buffalo Grove.I miss DeKalb.Student teaching starts in a few days.

 

September 24th, 2002

 

††††††††††† Spring has bloomed in the fall, and SL is alive and well.†† Things seem to be back to normal, so normal that itís about time for me to send around a controversial email to stir up the pot a bit.What topic though?††

††††††††††† The only unusual thing is that Iím still in first place in the Cousin Chad division.††

 

October 14th, 2002

 

††††††††††† Student teaching and CLC volleyball seem to be dominating my life.The Bears suck.Ken is getting married.†† Lots of games being played, but neither Dave nor Steve making up much ground.

 

November 5th, 2002

 

††††††††††† Played Ken online Sunday.†† He welcomed me to the playoffs.I guess that means Iím in.I got on a roll and beat him 4-1.

I then took some games from Matt.I was up 4-0 and in game 5, I swore at one of my guys for making an out but I heard from Keith that Matt thought I was swearing at him.I swear I wasnít swearing at Matt.I swear.††

 

November 17th, 2002

 

††††††††††† Played Matt again after he and Steve played.A computer is now back at the pad.†† Matt got even with me for the swearing incident.Nevin went 4 for 5 with 4 homers and 8 RBI in one game (Sosa 146) and had 6 homers as he took the series.Matt is a different manager at this point in the season, and I hope he comes back next year.

 

December 7th, 2002

 

At 94-68, Soso wins the Cousin Chad Division and faces Ken in the semi-finals.Skeptics say that I am no match for the defending Spit Cup Champion in spite of the fact that I went 15-5 against him in the regular season.I guess that I am kind of glad that I am not facing Chris.He seemed to match up well against me and he seems to be the hottest team in the league about now.††

 

††††††††††† PLAYOFFS?PLAYOFFS?††

Wait a secondÖJust how did I get here?††† ††

 

††

Soso had the top rated defense in the league (.987).

 

Soso had the only starter to win 20 games (Sele) and he is the only starter with an ERA under 3.00 (2.92).

 

Sosoís pitching staff held the league to a second best .241 batting average in the regular season.

 

††††††††††† Soso had the leagueís best record in 1-run games (34-19).††

 

Ichiro and Alomar had 211 & 200 hits collectively.Have there ever been two players on an SL team to collect 200 hits each?†† In addition to leading the league in hits, Ichiro led it in multi-hit games and stolen bases.

 

††††††††††† With Alomar and Ichiro on base, two bona-fide sluggers (Giambi: 121 RBI, .595 SLG and

Green: 133 RBI) were always a threat.Plus, Sierra was no slouch for a 23rd round pick.

 

††††††††††† Soso stole 255 bases and finished first in the league in stolen base percentage (82.5%).

 

Timely hitting from guys like Posada and Meintkewicz as well as competent relief pitching from the likes of Weathers, Rincoln, Nen, and Farnsworth certainly helped.

†††††††††††

 

December 7th, 2002 Addendum.

 

††††††††††† I got waxed.Nice job on the repeat Ken.

 

Congratulations to Christi and Ken.It will be good to see most everyone in February.††

 

Best Wishes to Pam and Greg on their future addition to the family.††